1) My schedule will ALWAYS revolve around what baby wants.
It doesn't matter what I have planned, or what time I am supposed to go to work(or even when I was schedule to return back to work) I learned quickly that E determines what does on for the day. Maybe it's a good thing or maybe it's a bad thing but when he needs me it doesn't matter what's on the agenda. I drop it no questions asked, no matter what the consequence is. My plan was to work right away after he was born- I didn't go back to work until he was 4 months old. And that took a good month and a half of me easing back into it 4 hours at a time.
2) No matter what you THOUGHT you were going to do as far as parenting isn't always what you do in the end
I swore from the moment I thought about sleep strategies that baby would sleep on his back. I swore up and down when he was born that we wouldn't give him juice until he was in Pre-K at the earliest. I desperately wanted to feed him homemade baby food. E slept on his stomach when he was 3 weeks old (with of course a SIDS monitor attached to his crib and a video monitor zoomed in so I could watch him breathe), we gave him apple juice at 6 months cause he has BM issues and I pouted the whole time, and despite my desire to make his foods I ended up just buying organic canned foods with the horrible excuse of "I have no time". Some things just didn't pan out the way I wanted to, even though I never thought I would go that way. And I learned to just go with the flow and pick the battles that are really worth fighting.
3) Baby DOESN'T need every single item they sell at Babies R Us
This is still a hard one for me to grasp but I am learning...I swear!! E probably has more toys, gadgets, clothes, baby contraptions that any kid could ever want. He has at least 14 different bottles (from 5 different brands), 2 highchairs, 3 car seats (just for me and DH), a pack n play, crib, 3 strollers, 2 bouncers, 1 swing (although I almost bought another one at one point), 3 play gyms, 2 different types of bumbo like chairs, 3 walkers, the whole toy isle at target and BRU and this is all for just stuff at our house. If we went into his room he has an entire closet full of clothes plus 2 boxes that are packed with things he's outgrowing, over 12 receiving blankets he's never used, 14 regular blankets (cause you know I have to match them with the outfit he has on), more shoes than I own (and he doesn't even like to wear them, prefers to eat them actually), and I still get the urge to buy him more. Now I know I said I never wanted him to go without but after typing this I feel unbelievable ridiculous and now see why DH wants to strangle me sometimes. He most defiantly did not need half of these items. Some were handy at one point or another but I really should've listened to everyone when they said, "He doesn't need that Ann!". At the end of the day the only thing E wants is his momma :)...and ONE bottle.
4) They REALLY do grow fast
It feels like yesterday E was just this itty bitty 6lb 7oz baby that was struggling to breathe in NICU one night and then a champ chowing down on his bottle the next. I've watched him hit milestone after milestone (most ahead of schedule might I add :D..I'm a proud momma OK!) so quickly that my head is spinning. He's now walking like crazy when holding onto something and I wanna cry sometimes cause it seems so unreal. How did this little person go from needing me to do everything for him to becoming so independent? We're getting to the point these days where he doesn't want anyone to feed him. He LOVES to hold his bottle himself and gets angry when you try to help him. So many people told me that it flies by but you really don't realize it til you sit back for a moment and think about it.
5) There is NO other love like this
Take this one as you may but I don't mean it to come off as bad....I love my DH...very very much. If you know our background, you know I HAVE to love this man like no other to marry him. I would never want anything bad to happen in our marriage, and I plan to be married til the day we die. BUT my love for E is like nothing I have ever dreamed of. I can't breathe without him, I couldn't go on if anything ever happened to him, and as bad as it sounds he trumps DH. E is my life, my whole being, I cry sometimes when I think of him cause I love him so much it's scary. Imagining my life without him is a nightmare, something I don't ever want to endure. Being away from him for the 13.5 hours during my occasional day shift is horrific for me cause it usually means I will go the whole day without seeing him. He's the only thing I know in my heart of hearts I've done right in this world and I am so proud to call him my son. He could have kept me up for days on end but the moment he gives me one of those gummy smiles and plants a sloppy wet kiss on me I'm on cloud nine. There simply is no words to describe the love between a mother and child.
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